(If you don't want to know my personal pregnancy business, I politely ask you to close this post right now and go read something else - like a book, perhaps.)
Being pregnant is hard and not for the faint of heart. You would think having been pregnant before, that I would have known what I was getting myself into this time around. I would agree that a part of me did, but I big part of my brain that should have remembered more must have gotten lost when I gave birth to Edmund.
This pregnancy has been much harder than my last. The day nausea was so much worse this time that I literally could not function by 4 pm without a nap. I would spend some days on the couch or in the play room laying there while I watched Edmund play, praying that he wouldn't remember the time that his mom was too sick and tired to help him stack his blocks. I am sure he will get over it as it was a short period in his life and he is perfectly capable of entertaining himself with the most meager of objects. But with pregnancy hormones going crazy, it makes a mom feel like a failure. I cried over it too many times to count when on the grand scheme of things, I am sure it doesn't really matter.
This all being said, even though the first trimester was a rough one, I am grateful. I am grateful that the sickness has subsided. I am also so incredibly grateful to be pregnant again. With having to wait to get pregnant with Edmund, God pressed one thing on my heart more heavily than anything else - that all children are a gift from Him and to never take them for granted. This has brought relief many times to my heart and to my sick stomach.
This time was also harder as I was far more anxious. Perhaps it was the two spotting episodes I had week 7 and week 17. The spotting was so minuscule, but it was enough to make me worried. I believe the real reason for my increased anxiety was due to all of my friends who have lost little ones far to early. Their babies were taken into the Father's fold before they had a chance to live a day outside of the womb. Although a part of me rejoices knowing they are in heaven, the heavy loss that accompanies the death of a child, even one that is unborn lays heavily on my heart. I have never miscarried thus far and I pray hard that I never will. But an increase in empathy is something that any feeling mother has and I can imagine their pain as if it was my own. Since the time I found out I was pregnant, I know of multiple friends that miscarried, one stillbirth, and an ectopic pregnancy. We all know the statistics and how risky the first trimester is, and the idea of their loss, the idea of losing my baby, it all makes me cry and made me cry many days during my pregnancy.
Here we are though. We are halfway through the pregnancy, Jellybean and I. We are grateful that the risk of any significant issues is low and that the 20 week ultrasound that happened this week went perfectly. Our little one (we didn't find out the gender) is doing well and everything looks healthy, perfect, and our hearts swelled once again as we got to see this little one, so much bigger than the last time we saw him/her at just 8 weeks.
I am grateful for making it through the first trimester alive. I am grateful for all of the little kicks I have been able to feel thus far. I am grateful and blessed by all of the support from friends and family and the abundance patience, love, and help I constantly receive from my husband. Most of all, I am grateful for every day that we are given with this child.
I am now happily in the second trimester, and with increased energy, I am enjoying being pregnant. Here are a few stats on how Jellybean and I are doing.
Pregnancy Statistics:
Cravings: Pepperoncini, goat cheese, tapioca, guacamole, limes
Morning Sickness (aka - Day Nausea): Weeks 4 - 15
Extra Visits to the OB: 2 - yeast infection at week 16, spotting at week 17
Naps Taken: Too many to count
Started Feeling Baby Move: 13 Weeks
Weight Gained (Thus Far): 5 lbs (and counting)
Pants That No Longer Fit: Don't even want to think about it
Average Times Awake in the Night: 3-4
For pregnancy bump pics, you can see them here.
Here are some sweet pictures of our little one.
-Anna
Being pregnant is hard and not for the faint of heart. You would think having been pregnant before, that I would have known what I was getting myself into this time around. I would agree that a part of me did, but I big part of my brain that should have remembered more must have gotten lost when I gave birth to Edmund.
This pregnancy has been much harder than my last. The day nausea was so much worse this time that I literally could not function by 4 pm without a nap. I would spend some days on the couch or in the play room laying there while I watched Edmund play, praying that he wouldn't remember the time that his mom was too sick and tired to help him stack his blocks. I am sure he will get over it as it was a short period in his life and he is perfectly capable of entertaining himself with the most meager of objects. But with pregnancy hormones going crazy, it makes a mom feel like a failure. I cried over it too many times to count when on the grand scheme of things, I am sure it doesn't really matter.
This all being said, even though the first trimester was a rough one, I am grateful. I am grateful that the sickness has subsided. I am also so incredibly grateful to be pregnant again. With having to wait to get pregnant with Edmund, God pressed one thing on my heart more heavily than anything else - that all children are a gift from Him and to never take them for granted. This has brought relief many times to my heart and to my sick stomach.
This time was also harder as I was far more anxious. Perhaps it was the two spotting episodes I had week 7 and week 17. The spotting was so minuscule, but it was enough to make me worried. I believe the real reason for my increased anxiety was due to all of my friends who have lost little ones far to early. Their babies were taken into the Father's fold before they had a chance to live a day outside of the womb. Although a part of me rejoices knowing they are in heaven, the heavy loss that accompanies the death of a child, even one that is unborn lays heavily on my heart. I have never miscarried thus far and I pray hard that I never will. But an increase in empathy is something that any feeling mother has and I can imagine their pain as if it was my own. Since the time I found out I was pregnant, I know of multiple friends that miscarried, one stillbirth, and an ectopic pregnancy. We all know the statistics and how risky the first trimester is, and the idea of their loss, the idea of losing my baby, it all makes me cry and made me cry many days during my pregnancy.
Here we are though. We are halfway through the pregnancy, Jellybean and I. We are grateful that the risk of any significant issues is low and that the 20 week ultrasound that happened this week went perfectly. Our little one (we didn't find out the gender) is doing well and everything looks healthy, perfect, and our hearts swelled once again as we got to see this little one, so much bigger than the last time we saw him/her at just 8 weeks.
I am grateful for making it through the first trimester alive. I am grateful for all of the little kicks I have been able to feel thus far. I am grateful and blessed by all of the support from friends and family and the abundance patience, love, and help I constantly receive from my husband. Most of all, I am grateful for every day that we are given with this child.
I am now happily in the second trimester, and with increased energy, I am enjoying being pregnant. Here are a few stats on how Jellybean and I are doing.
Pregnancy Statistics:
Cravings: Pepperoncini, goat cheese, tapioca, guacamole, limes
Morning Sickness (aka - Day Nausea): Weeks 4 - 15
Extra Visits to the OB: 2 - yeast infection at week 16, spotting at week 17
Naps Taken: Too many to count
Started Feeling Baby Move: 13 Weeks
Weight Gained (Thus Far): 5 lbs (and counting)
Pants That No Longer Fit: Don't even want to think about it
Average Times Awake in the Night: 3-4
For pregnancy bump pics, you can see them here.
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| 20 weeks |
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| little face |
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| tiny little feet |
